Immaculate? More like Immaculately Terrible
Let’s get one thing straight – the only reason anyone watched this stinker is because of Sydney Sweeney. Take her out of the equation and Immaculate would have been as big a box office draw as a Hallmark movie airing at 3am.
I honestly don’t know what mind-altering substances the people leaving positive reviews were on, but I want some of that good stuff. Because the movie I watched was a disjointed, underwhelming mess that couldn’t develop an actual plotline if its life depended on it.
The biggest issue? This movie is more incomprehensible than someone having a conversation entirely in ancient Greek…which is basically what happens at times since there’s no freaking captions or translations provided. We’re just supposed to take Alvaro Morte’s word for it when he explains what was said, I guess?
But even when you can understand the dialogue, it doesn’t make the story any more coherent. Major events that seem pivotal happen, only for them to never be explained or referenced again. The director just bounces along like “lol, who cares about that, let’s move on to the next random plotline!”
I was expecting some deep, transcendent experience considering the spiritual themes. Instead, I got the movie equivalent of a soap opera having an identity crisis. There’s basically zero character development beyond surface level stereotypes.
Look, I’ll give Immaculate credit for one thing – at least it wasn’t just another derivative demonic possession flick recycling the same old tropes. Unfortunately, its attempt at uniqueness still resulted in a surreal, arthouse mess that never lives up to its potential.